The first time I rode on a rollercoaster was the most fun, most terrifying time of my life. I remember getting in the seat and having that lap bar come down, my heart was racing. We started to pull out of the station and with every click up the hill my heart got higher and higher in my throat. Until finally we tilted over the edge.
I threw my hands up and I screamed and I laughed, nothing will ever top that feeling, that rush. When the ride was over and my throat was scratchy; I realized I had forgotten all of that fear.
I now know that life is a lot like that, we go up these hills that are torturous but once we get to the other side of that hill all of that worry was so worth it.
There will be many ups and downs and probably a few loops that everyone will be thrown through, but just let go and ride.
You’ll enjoy it a lot more.
I sit here most nights, watch my shows and type on my phone, you sleep, and man are you beautiful. I see you now and you’re the only thing left to give me hope. I need you around me, and while I definitely love you it scares the living shit out of me. You mean more to me than even myself. I have made some huge mistakes, I know, but we’ve made it through it all and I am so grateful. I love you babe and I can’t wait for you to wake up.
I deleted my story… it was dumb. I can’t write about my own life very well…. I thought it would help but now I’m just dreading on the bad things and I just sound whiny… Anyway, that wasn’t the point of the page.
I will be writing more, I really think it will help. Maybe I’ll start out with fiction, may be a bit easier for me.
Anyone have any writing tips?
I just wanna set the record straight: I have a pretty great life. A wonderful boyfriend, an assortment of wonderful pets, we have a roof over our head and we rarely fight. I came exactly explain why I’m so upset but I am and I always have been, and I’m just scared I always will be.
I wish I was depressed because something happened or because sethings not right but that’s not the reason. In fact, there isn’t a reason, I just am.
I think the majority of my problem is me.
Im kind of a monumental fuck up. I swing my way into peoples lives and I smash everything around me. Im not some insane chick who just hates everyone or anything like that, I just try so hard to do everything right but the outcome is always way wrong.
I just don’t want to live like this anymore.